Chapter 581 - I Am Dou Dou

Chapter 581: I Am Dou Dou

Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
At present, it was already the third week of December in this world, but the sun still shone brightly in the sky like a furnace.
Four seasons of blistering hot weather in a year, or rather, two seasons in a year.
One rainy season and one dry season.
Even during the rainy season, the weather was incessantly hot and stuffy. As for the dry season, everyone would be drenched in perspiration when out in the sun.
“Ah… Ah… Ah…”
The sound of a man groaning came through from the training ground in the palace.
Ren Baqian was currently doing a front split movement on top of a burning hot slate. In addition, he was also exerting all his strength to try to bring the leg behind him to bend forward and stretch toward his neck.
For one, he felt that his leg hurt like it was being torn apart.
Secondly, he felt that his balls were in distress.
Distressed balls indeed.
Ren Baqian’s balls were pressed against the burning hot slate, and out of the blue, he suddenly thought about the legend of frying an egg on a slate!
Asking a 1.75 meter tall man who weighed 110 kilograms to do such a movement.
What the f*ck!
“Your body is too stiff. Hold it for another five minutes. If you do this every day, your body will become more flexible and learning the [Hunter Techniques] will be faster and easier.”
The empress sat in a chair with a whip in one hand and a wine glass in the other while consoling Ren Baqian from time to time.
Behind her were the palace maids, Qing Yuan and Hong Luan, who were both smiling happily.
Ren Baqian scowled miserably—who had he offended? It was merely those words he had said that day on the rooftop of the palace hall. The next day, the empress actually did what she said she would and changed to using a whip…
Each time he felt like placing his rear leg down, the empress’s whip would screech through the air and lash the slate beside him. Strips of stone would break apart, forming cracks… This was actually a two-inch thick slate!
“Your Majesty… It’s almost cooked…” Ren Baqian replied in anguish.
“Pass down the order to apply the comfrey ointment for him before practice tomorrow,” the empress told Hong Luan.
“Yes, Your Majesty.” Hong Luan pursed up her lips and smiled.
“I think we can forget about it—I can still endure a little more!” Ren Baqian’s facial expression suddenly began to change irregularly.
Comfrey ointment was something like the essential balm of this world and also had a few other effects. However, applying essential balm to his balls wasn’t something that he wanted to experience for a second time.
With great difficulty, Ren Baqian managed to endure for another five minutes. Without delay, Ren Baqian leaped up, ran toward the empress, and laid down on the chair beside her. He then took a big gulp of iced fruit juice before finally feeling alive again.
The imperial canopy that Qing Yuan and Hong Luan were holding was also conveniently shielding him with the shade.
“I felt like I almost died.” Ren Baqian let out a long exhale.
“It’s not that I want to monitor you, but you have been too idle.”
The empress felt a little helpless. Ren Baqian was doing fine in other aspects, but he had been too lazy in practicing his martial arts. It had been slightly better when he was practicing the [Ruyi Visualization] because that was the fundamentals after all. As for the other types of punching and kicking martial arts, he didn’t take them seriously.
After exactly one year, the only move that he was confident in using would probably be the [Boxing of Death].
Ren Baqian had been slow in his progress of learning the [Hunter Techniques], which were the moves that the empress regarded as the most important. When he was practicing alone, he would immediately give up whenever he reached a certain level of pain.
As such, the empress had no choice but to watch him as he trained and even had to resort to using a whip.
However, the empress felt that using the whip was actually a pretty fun thing to do.
“However, I saw that Your Majesty seemed pretty happy when you were lashing that whip!” Ren Baqian had a hidden bitterness on his face.
“Her Majesty’s treatment of Sir Ren is unrivalled—she doesn’t care this much for anyone else.” Qing Yuan pursed her lips and smiled.
Ren Baqian sighed indistinctly.
Such is life.
The hardest thing to bear was a beauty’s grace. Was that how the saying went? Indeed, such grace granted by a beauty like the empress was extremely difficult to bear!
When he was dining with the empress in the evening, Ren Baqian asked, “Your Majesty, do you want to experience the New Year atmosphere on Earth? It’s completely different from Dayao. The atmosphere there is much more normal without a rack of bones on the wall that makes noises when the wind blows.”
The empress muttered irresolutely, “Has ‘Where the Legend Begins’ 1 finished airing?”
“The last two episodes should already be out!” Ren Baqian’s face suddenly turned black.
Are you still thinking about binge-watching television series, Your Majesty?
“Let’s go then,” the empress replied after pondering for a bit. Otherwise, she would have to wait for Ren Baqian to download and bring it back before she could watch it.
Ren Baqian’s jaw dropped. Where did that highly reserved empress go to? Why had she become a binge-watching monster?
“Your Majesty, we have to spend the New Year at my house, and we’ll be meeting my parents!” Ren Baqian still took a preventive measure in case of any unexpected circumstances that might arise when they went back.
“I’ve met them previously. Even though they were rather reserved, they were pretty good-natured.”
The empress thought about it for a moment and still remembered what Ren Baqian’s parents were like.
They were only reserved in your presence. They are usually very talkative, especially my father! Ren Baqian thought about this in his mind but didn’t say it out loud.
It was all good that the empress didn’t have any reaction.
He could finally take the empress back home to celebrate the New Year this year, which was actually great. It would be good if his parents weren’t as nervous and awkward as the previous time.
The duo arrived back on Earth in Ren Baqian’s room. With the house becoming crowded with more people, he would arrive back in his room instead of the living area every time he shuttled to and fro.
The environment changed with a warp of the surrounding. The next moment, all they heard was the clamor from downstairs. It was almost like a market!
They could hear indistinct voices saying “Four twos!” and “Small ace!”
After they changed out of their clothes, the empress’s image immediately turned from a monarch to a city beauty who wore a red dress—alright, it had always been red. She then put on a pair of cloth flats. Simply wearing a pair of old-fashioned Beijing cloth flats, the empress made them look like a top-notch international luxury brand.
She casually let her hair down and it looked like a waterfall falling behind her back.
“Hi boss, hi lady boss!” Those kids from the mountainous regions weren’t just six muscular and beefy men anymore, they had multiplied to 16 now… Seeing the two of them walk down the stairs, sounds of the sofa ruffling and items crashing began to ring out. Wine bottles smashed against the floor, drenching two sets of poker cards.
Imagine what the scene would look like with 16 burly men who weighed 150 kilograms and had been drinking. Standing among them, Ding Jie’s small build looked like a bean sprout. He stood there and greeted Ren Baqian and the empress while looking aggrieved. The word “b*stard” was written all over his face.
The faces of all the other 16 men were clean—only Ding Jie’s face was full of the word “b*stard”… He almost didn’t look like a human anymore.
Ren Baqian suspected that they were playing some sort of game where the winners could write the word “b*stard” on his face.
Ren Baqian really couldn’t bear to ask why Ding Jie was the only one with words written all over his face. Ren Baqian couldn’t help but wonder if he should give Ding Jie a salary raise. However, Ren Baqian recalled that Ding Jie seemed to have greeted the empress as “lady boss” just now and decided that he should drop the idea of giving him a raise.
“The New Year is in two days—aren’t you going back?” Ren Baqian looked at Ding Jie and asked.
“My flight is tomorrow morning,” Ding Jie immediately responded.
Ren Baqian nodded and called Shen Feng, getting her to buy two round trip tickets.
When the call ended, those 16 winged cavalry warriors had tidied up the area around the sofa.
Ren Baqian then sprawled out on the sofa and said, “You guys can’t just spend every day here eating, sleeping, and hitting Dou Dou. You’ve got to do something else.”
“Lady boss, who is Dou Dou?” the 16 winged cavalry warriors asked curiously.
With the word “b*stard” written all over his face, Ding Jie answered with a faceful of grief and indignation, “I’m Dou Dou!”
The thought of this made Ding Jie look like a woman full of complaints, which was practically a tragedy. What happened to the impoverished village kids that they talked about initially… Why did it become like this?
“Cough, cough!” Ren Baqian cleared his throat. “I had originally planned to set up a security company. However, after some thought, I feel that we should build a few martial arts centers! This would be more suitable for you and would allow you to bring out your innate qualities!”
Ren Baqian’s initial objective wasn’t to bring over ten winged cavalry warriors just to guard the house. He wanted to build up his influence, which would prevent him from being helpless when running errands.
At present, the winged cavalry warriors who had stayed here the longest had already been here for over a year, and they were very familiar with the basic situation here on Earth.
It was time to let them out.
“Where can I watch ‘Where the Legend Begins?’ Find it for me.” The empress poked Ren Baqian, causing half of his body to immediately go numb.
Ren Baqian found the show for her before continuing to talk to the rest with a calm look, “I guess you guys have an idea of what I’m talking about. As for Ding Jie, you won’t have to idle around anymore. I will make arrangements for you…”
“Why am I only able to watch for six minutes?” The empress poked Ren Baqian again.
Half of Ren Baqian’s body went numb again…
He glanced at the empress with a trace of hidden bitterness. He then took his phone from her and checked before saying, “The subscription has ended. Let me renew it now!”
After he was done with that, Ren Baqian raised his head and looked at everyone in front of him. He opened his mouth and suddenly forgot what he had wanted to say just now.
“Forget it. Let’s talk about it after the New Year.” Ren Baqian waved his hand.