chapter 42

It has been a couple of days since the attack. Ivan has left, and Landon hasn't spoken to anyone since
the memorial services of all those that we lost. I've been trying to give Landon time. I'm wondering if he
blames me for the lives that I couldn't save.

I want to talk to him, but I don't know how. He is so full of anger that I don't want him to take it out on
me. I've been assisting all the wolves that have lost their loved ones. Doing little chores here and there.
Helping the mothers take care of their children, trying to explain to them what has happened.

Many wolves lost their mates. There is so much heartbreak that I don't know how to cure it all. The
pack has lost the light. Now we are all just full of darkness. They need their leader to come forward and
guide them. But he won't even leave his house. I know that he blames himself for all of this. Or maybe
he blames me because he left his pack to protect me.

Ivan said that he would be back, but he didn't say when. Sometimes I feel like I miss him even though I
hate him too. Star has been so quiet and almost feels like she has disappeared, too. I think she is mad
at me for trying to save others. When I should have taken care of myself and my baby.

As I rub my belly and feel her kicks, I'm grateful that she is OK. Even though I'm terrified of the world
that she is coming into. I don't want it to be where she is going to be in danger all the time. I want to get
to the bottom of all of this. I just don't know how. I don't want to bring it up, but I don't know what else I
am supposed to do.

As I'm laying in bed and my thoughts are everywhere. I hear a knock at the door, I don't want to answer
it, I don't want to move. I want to lay in my sadness and just forget all that has happened. But I pushed
myself up out of my bed. As I pull my covers off my body, I get a chill from the cold air. Then I notice
that the knock becomes frantic, and then I am nervous to answer.

As I opened the door, I saw Landon. I can tell that he has been crying, as his eyes are puffy and red. I
want to comfort him, but I don't know how. As I look into his eyes, “Landon, is everything okay.” I say in



a shaky voice.

He pushes himself through the doorway and connects to my lips. I kiss him back, enjoying me being
close to him. As his arms wrap-around my body, he begins to sob. His head sinks into my neck as I
wrap my arms around him. I say nothing, I just let him get it all out, hoping it will help him. I feel so bad
for all that has happened. I wish I could take away all of this pain.

As he pulls his head back, he looks into my eyes. I see all of him, the pain that he is feeling and the
love that he has inside him. I know that he feels like a failure, but it is not his fault. I take my finger and
brush it through his beautiful Brown hair As I whisper to him, Landon, “none of this was your fault.”

He then connects to my lips again as he puts his hands underneath my shirt to remove it. I put my arms
up to help him. Once my shirt is off, he begins to kiss my neck, I let out soft moans. As his kisses make
me want all of him. I then put my hands at the bottom of his shirt, I go to lift his shirt as he puts his
hands up, so I can remove it. I kiss his chest as I feel his hard, rock stomach.

As he gently picks me up, I wrap my legs around his waist as he then carries me to the bed and lays
me down so gently. Without taking his lips off mine. I have never wanted anybody more than what I
want him right now. The side of him is the side I've never seen.

As he leaves my lips and travels down my chest, kissing my breast and licking my nipples, making
them hard. He then takes his fingertips and gently plays with my nipples. I let out a soft moan of
pleasure that he is given just by his gentle touch. As his kisses travel further down my body, the
pleasure is becoming unbearable As my pussy is getting wet, ready for his throbbing cock. He then
pulls my pants off of my body, I watch as he smiles when he realizes I'm not wearing panties.

He then begins to kiss my pussy. I arch my back as he holds me down he then inserts his finger inside
me, I can't help but to scream as it feels so good. As he is sucking on my clit and inserting his finger, I



almost get ready to cum, but then he stops. I watch as he begins to unbuckle his pants when he pulls
them down I look at his cock, excited that he's getting ready to make love to me.

He then crawls on top of me, I'm shocked as he kisses my lips and my neck. I have never had sex so
gently. As he inserts his throbbing cock inside me ecstasy travels through my entire body. The pleasure
is so overwhelming. I never knew that sex could feel this way. I then begin to wonder if I am in love with
him. Is that why it feels the way it does?

As our bodies connect to each other, and we let out soft moans of pleasure. I then hear Star begin to
howl, surprised that she is enjoying it as much as I am. It feels that our bodies are in sync with one
another as we both orgasm together. He then kisses my lips and lies beside me and pulls me into his
arms.

He then turns over and looks at me, I can see the emotion in his face. “Lilly, I was scared that
something happen to you. I never ran so fast in my life. I think I might be in love with you. I know you
are mated to Ivan and having his child, but I don't want to lose you.”

I smile and snuggle into his chest. “Landon, I think I'm in love with you too. I don't feel for Ivan the way I
feel for you. Yes, he is my mate, but I don't love him. I'm having his child, but it doesn't mean I have to
be with him.”

I can feel his body losing up as he sighs in relief at my words. I snuggle tighter into his chest, relaxing
with him. Forgetting all that has happened just for a moment to enjoy this moment of pure happiness. A
feeling that I almost forgot how it felt.


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