Chapter 15: He Really Wanted To Go Back And Kill Himself
December 24, 2006
Sophie: [It's Christmas Eve.There was a boy from my class who confessed to me.He gave me a bunch
of big flowers and knelt down on one knee in front of the whole class.I was stunned.No matter how I
refused, he didn't let me go and even forced me to accept his present.In desperation, I had to say that I
already like someone.I didn’t know why I lied to him.But when I said I liked someone, the handsome
guy who saved me came to my mind.It must be because he was too handsome that I couldn't forget
him!]
July 15, 2009
Sophie: [Today is Valentine's Day.I am so happy! I finally got to know the handsome guy's name! He
appeared on the cover of a finance magazine.Wow! As a rookie in the business world, he already had
achievements that many people his age couldn't reach.I liked him even more because he's so amazing!
No matter where I went, I see his striking figure.Even his name was so nice - Zac! He's handsome and
kind and someday, he would lead their company.Wow, I feel like my heart is going to burst! I have
decided to treasure this finance magazine for the rest of my life! And on the cover is my future
husband!]
October 23, 2014
Sophie: [I don't know what happened but when I woke up, I clearly saw disgust, disdain and anger in
his eyes! After many years of looking for him, our first meeting was a disaster.I wanted to die in
embarrassment and shame.I don't know why I passed out at my sister's party and was suddenly in the
same bed as him.I don't know why he even decided to give me medicines.No one believes me.No one
loves me.I'm alone in the world]
September 30, 2015
Sophie: [It hasn't been a year since I got married, but I feel like it was a decade ago.All I felt was pain
because he tortured me.But my heart hurt even more.I just want to die.If it was me who died in the car
accident, would he hate me less?]
March 4, 2016
Sophie: [Today, I went to see a psychologist again.Dr.Miller said that my depression has gotten very
serious.He suggested that I get a divorce.If I don't get rid of this painful and depressing marriage, my
mental health might get worse and worse.But I also don’t want to leave, because there's always a little
glimmer of hope in my heart.That someday, I would wake up to a man who would believe in me and
love me...But I know that I could only hope for things like that.My heart's bleeding all the time and living
has become a kind of torture]
February 25, 2017
Sophie: [I've made up my mind.I want a divorce.He will never love me.Three years of marriage was
enough.What I experienced was worse than death and there's no love left in me to give.Zac, I can't
afford to love you anymore.I have decided to leave you.]
This was her last journal.
Based on the time, it was exactly the day when Zac and Sophie filed for divorce.
That day, Zac said that he wouldn't leave until Edith comes back to life.
Then, she woke up and Zac got divorced, but Sophia died and left the world with their unborn child.
There were a total of twelve posts, mostly about Zac.
He began to realize how much he tortured Sophie little by little.
She was depressed and not able to survive.
That's why she has been seeing a psychologist.
However, Zac was led to believe that Sophie committed adultery because Edith convinced him that the
baby she was carrying wasn't his child.
‘I'm an asshole, the biggest asshole in the world! I deserve to be eaten up by regret right now.
I deserve to be miserable; he thought.
If he could go back in time, he really wanted to kill himself.
But it's useless now.
Unless Sophie wakes up, he could never escape the pain brought by regret.
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